Aptitude for Distinguished Deviation.

May 6, 2013 1:04 pm


I've been defined as having an "over active imagination" my entire life but I've realized this is just the polite way to say I have ADD.

So, without further ado, here are:


  1. You always have someone to talk to…in your mind. If I was Pinocchio, my Jiminy Cricket would be jacked on Red Bull, ripping pages from the dictionary and making me guess what word he was defining through song.
  2. Constant entertainment. Remember when you were a kid and you could see animals in clouds and spell every letter of the alphabet with a mini-bag of pretzels? My skills have only gotten sharper.
  3. Not bored by stupid people. 83% of the time I am listening to 12% of what anyone is saying because the first word they said reminded me of 99% of the things I forgot yesterday. 
  4. Re-Discovery. I guarantee my life is more exciting than yours because I am constantly discovering things I forgot I did. Grocery shopping is the gift that keeps on giving, "HOLY SHIT I BOUGHT ICE CREAM!?" 
  5. Whoever invented ice cream is a deity I'd gladly worship.
  6. Ice cream was developed to attract more worshippers by lesser known demi-gods Benynus & Jerridite on Mt. Olympdelicious. 
  7. If I was a squirrel I would ask for an ice cream cone because then I could have a dessert that was as big as me. Do squirrels like ice cream?
  8.  correct. 
  9. abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz I TYPED THAT IN 3 SECONDS!